I'm sorry to say this, Vincent, but I think you're starting to abuse this site. We're not here to edit members' writings, especially incredibly long postings like this and one other you've recently put up.
I did edit two other postings for you similar to the one above, but this is going a bit too far. If you have a specific grammar question or a point of grammar you'd like all of us to discuss, please post it. But please stop posting editing jobs.