I think to myself now that...

@dukulrahman12345 posted:

Do both of them mean the same thing? If not, please explain why. I had a hard time understanding the first sentence due to its grammatical issues. Is the first one a "mixed conditional sentence"?

1) I think to myself now that if I didn't have that pen knife from my father I would be dead and my mom, grandma and grandfather would be as well.

2) I think to myself now that if I hadn't had that pen knife from my father I would have been dead/died and my mom, grandma and grandfather would have been as well.

Hello, dukulrahman12345, and welcome to the Grammar Exchange.

Both sentences are correct (assuming "would have been dead" is used in (2)), but they have different meanings.

In (1), it is implied that the speaker has the pen knife now. A counterfactual inference about the present is drawn.

In (2), it is implied that the speaker had the pen knife in the past. A counterfactual inference about the past and/or the present is drawn.